Sunday... my favorite day of the week. I volunteered in the nursery at church this morning, and had a blast. I love the kids, and they always end up being such a blessing to me. This morning was especially hectic and rewarding because we had so many children with two helpers (myself and another lady). For some kids it was there first time visiting our church, and we had 2 6-month-olds who were absolutely adorable. Both of them liked to be held, however, so it was a challenge to meet all of their needs. Thankfully we did end up receiving more help from a younger girl who had a desire to assist us with the little ones :) I just wanted to share some about my blessed morning. I arrived early awhile before service was scheduled to begin, and one little 1 1/2-year-old boy who I have known for awhile came running into the nursery holding a book that he seemed very proud of. I asked him what he brought in today, and I couldn't understand his answer so I asked him if he wanted me to read it to him. He quickly and excitedly answered "yes". As I grabbed the book I realized it was a Baby's Bible, and I began reading to the little boy about Adam and Eve. After I read about a new person he would repeat the names of those individuals when I prompted him to do so. When I got to the last page, however, and Jesus was introduced he immediately started shouting "Jesus! Jesus!" It was so awesome to see this little 1-year-boy so excited because he knew about Jesus. He had the biggest contagious smile as he pointed to the page with Jesus' picture on it. I know I am blessed to get the opportunity to help these children!
The Lord has really been speaking to me through a book I felt prompted to read this weekend. It is challenging me, humbling me, and teaching me about God's call for us to love the world. At the end of each chapter it asks me questions that you are supposed to answer before turning the page. These always hit home for me along with all the awesome stories of the many missionaries serving around the world. Many of these giving individuals are serving in dangerous, war-torn countries in which even basic medical care is essentially non-existent. They giving of their time, their resources, their lives, and mostly of their hearts to the millions of hurting people in our world today. Even so far in the book the many stories of these extraordinary missionaries and how God has called them to be His hands and feet have broken my heart. I am finding the reading of this book to be an emotional rollercoaster for me. It's as if God is taking each of the stories presented and speaking directly to me. I wanted to include an excert from Make A Difference: Responding to God's Call to Love the World that especially spoke to me. This scene takes place in Sarajevo, Bosnia where the author of this book, Melvin Cheatham meets a humble Bosnian neurosurgeon named Dr. Josip Jurisic...

"How can can he keep giving day after day?" I wondered. Then, a few days later, Dr. Josip amazed me with the answer. He reached in his wallet, took out a crinkled-up photograph ans said to me, 'This is me saying good-bye to my wife and small son as they were being evacuated from Sarajevo at the beginning of the war.' The photo showed Dr. Josip standing alongside the bus. His hand was on the outside of the bus window pressed against the outstretched hand of his young son on the inside of the bus, who in that moment wanted just one more time to touch his daddy. At that moment they were separated only by the thickness of the pane of glass, but it was a separation Dr. Josip realized might be for the rest of their lives. "My pregnant wife waved and my son waved and I waved,' he said. 'And that was it. The bus left. I watched until there was nothing left but a few whiffs of diesel exhaust, and they were gone. Then I went back inside the hospital and began caring for yet another patient, and another, then another.' Dr. Josip told me how after seeing his family safely sent away, he prayed God might protect his wife, small, son, and unborn baby, and then he said, 'My life is in Your hands. Please use me to care for the people who are being wounded in this terrible war.' I believe that as he looked into the eyes of his hurting patients, he saw the tears of his own wife and small son, and that prepared him to give his own life, if necesary, in order to bring help and hope to others. Out of his pain, Dr. Josip found a new compassion that says to another, 'I know what you're feeling. I know what it's like to hurt. By sharing what I have with you, God will turn my heartache into your blessing.' "
Immediately after reading this touching story I realized for real that God is calling me to use my story, my pain from Jeff's death in the same way. I love how in the story it states that after Dr. Josip watched his family being safely sent away, he prayed God would use him to help others. For me I know Jeff was safely taken away from this Earth in God's loving arms. God left me here on this Earth, however, for a reason - He still has much He desires for me to do here. I pray that God will give me the strength and the heart of Jesus to be able to fully live Dr. Josip's statement "By sharing what I have with you, God will turn my heartache into your blessing."

It's been quite awhile since I have written. Needless to say I have been busy in life. I am definately feeling the need to slow down and pay attention to the things that matter most in life. My last breath here on Earth could be tomorrow so I need to remember to live that way. I think of that and it brings up in me an ache for God. An ache to be with Him, closer to Him even now. Thanks to Jesus Christ's death on a cross people who believe in him will get to be with God for all eternity, dwelling in His Love, dancing with joy, and breathing deep of His unimaginable peace. I know that even when I stretch the depths of my imagination I still cannot grasp just what it will be like in Heaven. I do know I long to go there when my days here are up. I trust God that He has ordered my steps as His word says and ordained my days. On the topic of limited time here on Earth, have you thought about what you want to do with the rest of yours? Sure we have all thought about it, and thought about what we wanted to accomplish, where we wanted to travel or see, or who we wanted to be with or who we wanted to be like - but, have we really thought about what He desires for us to accomplish, the plans He wants us to fulfill, the places He wants us to travel, and who He wants us to be like? I know these are hard questions, and at the same time I know these are some of the most important questions we can ask ourselves. His plans for our lives are so much better than anything we could want for ourselves. A book I was reading today brought questions like these up to me today, and the author Melvin Cheatham asked me to answer these questions honestly to myself before turning the page:

~Do you want to make a difference by responding to God's call to love the world?
~Have I taken the time to be quiet and listen so I can hear God's voice?
~ How will I answer the question, "What have you done for Me, in the living of your life?"

That last question hit me hard. I know one day all of us will be in front of the Lord face to face and we must answer this question. What did I do for Him while I was on Earth? I thank God that as believers we do not need to worry about trying with our own might to explain away all our sin. No, by saying yes to Jesus we are allowing his blood to cover us too so that we are forgiven and permitted to dwell eternally in Heaven, a place we ourselves could not ever deserve on our own. We don't have to feel guilt, shame, or fear. With Jesus in our hearts we truly begin living. We were all created by Him and for Him alone, and when we live in this light we can truly feel complete. The truth of the matter is nothing else in this life can satisfy us except for the love of God. He made us that way! That we would find our purpose in Him. I am including this new song by Mercy Me, one of my favorite groups, which captures some of the very realizations that come when I find myself answering those questions mentioned above. The reality is that Jesus could come back to Earth at any time, my next breath could be my final breath. One thing is for sure - it will be in the blink of an eye. There will be no time to think about it, no time to change what I did or did not do here on Earth, no time to say "I am sorry" or "I love you", no further opportunity to ask for forgiveness or lead someone to Christ. The book of my life will be closed, and what can I tell God about what all the pages in between contained?

In the Blink of An Eye
by Mercy Me

You put me here for a reason
You have a mission for me
You knew my name and You called it
Long before I learned to breathe

Sometimes I feel disappointed
By the way I spend my time
How can I further Your kingdom
When I'm so wrapped up in mine

In a Blink of an eye that is when
I'll be closer to You than I've ever been
Time will fly, but until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye

And though I'm living a good life
Can my life be something great?
I have to answer the question
Before it's too late

Cause in a Blink of an eye that is when
I'll be closer to You than I've ever been
Time will fly, but until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye

If I give the very best of me
That becomes my legacy
So tell me what am I waiting for?
What am I waiting for?

In a Blink of an eye that is when
I'll be closer to You than I've ever been
Time will fly, but until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given

In a Blink of an eye that is when
I'll be closer to You than I've ever been
Time will fly, but until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye

God has been doing such amazing things in my life, even or especially in the midst of this trial in my life. I feel such peace about Jeff, knowing that he has already made it to Heaven and that is a huge reason for rejoicing! I praise God for that! The Lord is helping me to see that the single most important thing in this life here on earth is getting your name written in the Book of Life. This book contains the names of those who accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior by admitting that we are sinners who can do nothing to redeem ourselves in the eyes of God except by accepting the sacrifice Jesus made for us by dying on a cross for our sins. At this moment our eternal destination is forever changed. Having been destined for eternity in Hell, by the blood of Jesus we are promised eternity in God's presence in Heaven. We cannot earn this. There is nothing we could ever do to get to Heaven on our own. It is only through accepting Jesus Christ as Lord of our lives.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ~ John 3:16
The Book of Life, then, is of upmost importance. In the last book of the Bible, we see that
If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire. ~Revelation 20:15
There is no decision in life which is more critical than your decision about Jesus Christ. By not accepting him as Lord and Savior we are denying him. By asking for God's forgiveness for our sins and accepting Jesus and the death he suffered and died for us we inherit his glorious kingdom, the Kingdom of Heaven in which
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" - but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. ~1Corinithians 2:9
It is by taking this beautiful leap of faith, and trusting in God who sent His only Son to die for you that you truly are given meaning and purpose and a never-ending love in which you will forever grow deeper in for all of eternity. Jesus brings the greatest hope of all into our hearts and into our lives by saving us and forever loving us, reconciling us with God the Father.
A great nugget of truth to ponder on:
Neither height not depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:39