It's Friday and my little brother I got home not too long ago from visiting Jeff's grandmother in the nursing home she lives in a little over an hour from here. His great aunt who is very sweet also lives there, but, unfortunately, she was feeling very ill and could not visit with us. Jeff and I used to drive up to visit them and play games (they would play until I won a game which usually took awhile! lol). Anyways, we didn't squeeze any games into this evening, but she and I did get to do some talking. It's probably important to add that she is over 90 years old (92 to be exact I believe) and still intent on doing everything herself. We did some catching up on different things going on in the world and in life, and over dinner she had been speaking about dealing with the passing of Jeff when I mentioned to her that I could not make it through if it were not by the grace of God. His strength alone I emphasized to her is the only thing that gets me through. I would be hopeless and desparately lost here if it were not for Him alone... for the strength He provides me each and every day to do beyond what I could imagine was possible. The great part was that his grandma agreed with me. She said she does not know what she would do if she did not read God's Word daily. She relies on His truth to get her through also. We quickly spoke of how it would be such a different, dark situation going through all of this if we did not have Him. I love speaking with elderly individuals, and I enjoyed my time with her. They really do have a sense about them. They understand that the end of their lifetime on Earth is drawing near, and I love to hear believers talk about Heaven. Death is such a bright beginning even though from our view down on Earth we do not easily see it this way. I got to look at many pictures, and share my pictures of the beautiful ocean with her. She shared stories as we walked the sidewalks surrounding the home as the sun was setting. I know the situation with his family does not sound to be going very well, and I pray that God's hand of protection be upon their family and that His loving arms would hold them all tight, drawing them closer and closer to Him every day.
On another note I am keeping potential graduate schools in prayer. I am trying to orgainize most of the different school information before this quarter starts. We begin Fall quarter on September 6, and I know even though I will be busy with 20 credit hours that I can do it. Honestly, I am looking forward to it because completing this last quarter will show God's glory. It will show how awesome He is and that He is definately working wonders. That will make sense to anyone who understands that after losing someone you love so deeply the last instinct you have is to move on with your life. I mean naturally I did not have any energy to do this, and if it was dependent on my strength alone I could not be doing it. That's the amazing part of it all. I cannot really attempt to put that thought into words.
As my pastor is preaching a series about the biblical road to fincancial freedom he emphasized the importance of simplifying your life. I am really taking steps to do that, and it is so fulfilling and freeing. I have been sorting through my stuff, and to tell the truth I never knew I had this much. I had thought I had already gotten rid of so much of it, but there is SO much still there. It's like I felt bad for even having all of that, especially for having it all and not using it. I basically forgot I had a lot of the stuff I do. Pastor Stan also talked about thanking God for every little thing we have. I understand what he means because when you say "Thank You God for all of my stuff" it does not convey the same gratitude as it does when you say "Thank You God for my toothbrush, my soap, my pillow,...". I am sure many people who have gone through the devastation of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans and the surrounding areas would be very aware of this truth. They can now see and appreciate the little things we often take for granted here in America. Isn't it amazing that it is not just a coincidence that we have a hair brush, a toothbrush, a bar of soap? God blessed us with those things. Many others would love to have all of the things that I know I barely think twice about tossing into the shopping cart. I am realizing that it is not just by luck of the draw that I am on this end of the situation. I mean people are in need and I feel as though God is showing me who better to help than who He has poured out more than enough to?
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