Wow, it has been busy. I haven't gotten a chance to write in here for a few days. My classes are taking a lot of my time right now, but it brings me joy knowing this is what God has for me right now in my life. I just returned home from my precepts class at church. It was uplifting, and we are discussing the role of suffering in people's lives. It is so amazing that God such purpose in our suffering. I will have to include things we talked about in the class in my next entry. As I am on the topic of suffering and trials that are placed in our lives, I must just again say that I truly praise God for giving me such strength and such joy these last few months. Since Jeff has moved to Heaven it has been and continues to be such a transformingly beautiful experience. I know this does seem strange to say because of course I did not want him to go nor am I denying the pain it has brought into my life. I mean to say that God bringing this loss into my life has done so much in the way of shaping me as a person. He continues to draw me closer to Him through all of this as I trust Him truly with my life. Giving your life completely over to Him is so freeing and fulfilling. I continue to be amazed at how much God loves me, how deep His love is for all of us. I will go ahead and say that it was said tonight in class that when God gives us trials or suffering we should consider it a compliment because it means He trusts us to perservere through it and all the while bring glory to His name. He intends for that, for us to trust Him all the way through the pain, and He trusts us to do that. I think that is so awesome. I wanted to include a song that plays on KLove, the radio station I listen to day and night, that has spoken to me over these last few months. It's beautiful.
Held
by Natalie Grant
Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.
Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.
Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
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