Truthfully, it has been an emotional last few days. September 11th was Jeff's birthday, and I ended up getting together with a lot of his family to have a memorial ceremony type thing at his grave where we did a baloon launch (the balloons of course in Ohio State colors lol). It was a beautiful day, and just the night before at his grave I had been spending time there with God, hoping to just dedicate that time to God and anything He would want me to hear. As I was coming back around the cemetary at the end of my walk, God brought to my mind that Jeff's earthly birthday was September 11, but how much more awesome and important was his birthday into Heaven! It brought such joy to my soul to stop and think about that... I know to God and even to Jeff now how much more significance and love that day must possess. How wonderfully fulfilling to think upon that day for ourselves... the day when we will reach those Heavenly gates, when we will see God face to face, and live in his presence for all eternity, experiencing his love to the fullness in which he is. I can only imagine...
However, as it is written:
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" - but God has revealed it to us by His Spirit. ~ 1 Corinthians 2:9-10
God has just been more than truly amazing with the joy He gives me despite the situations and experiences I experience here in this life. I cannot even begin to describe or understand it except to say that it is only through Him and His Spirit that such a life, such a type of enduring joy could possibly exist in me, a soul that was broken, a heart that was so terribly aching. I really praise Him for that, and I cannot imagine what I would do without Him drawing me closer to Him each and every day. As He reveals His love to me I cannot help but be overwhelmed and to think that I do not deserve any of it at all. Recently I started a precepts class my church is offering called "Living Victoriously In Difficult Times". One of the main questions we will be studying is why God allows suffering, and we will look at stories of people who perservered in times of testing while gloryifying God in the midst of their pain. When I read the description of the course I just had to sign up for it! It sounded so perfect and appropriate for me at this time in my life. I really pray that I could bring glory to God in the midst of my pain. This past Monday was our first class, and I will share some of what we spoke about. First of all, the wonderful teacher let us know that she was not the teacher of the course but merely the facillitator for God. The Holy Spirit is our teacher, and she stressed that the Holy Spirit lives inside of each believer in Christ. We looked at 2 Corinthians 2:12 We have not received the spirit of this world but the spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. I was so excited when I read this because it served as a reminder that the Holy Spirit within us teaches us, reveals to us the things of God (the things He wants us to understand). I just think that is so awesome that He gave us His Spirit, His living Spirit living inside of us to accomplish these things. We also looked at John 14:26 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. So, the Holy Spirit was also given so that it could remind us of what Jesus said to us. Also, I believe this verse is very significant in that it states that the Holy Spirit will "teach us all things". Wow, talk about a lifetime in which you never stop learning. There will surely be always something new and something more the Holy Spirit can teach us, and He desires to teach us all things.
So far in the class we have briefly discussed some reasons God allows suffering to occur. One of these is that He desires for us to be more like His Son Jesus Christ. We can see this in Romans 8:29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. Also Isaiah 48:10 says See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. God tests us and it is because He loves us and desires us to be more like His Son Jesus. The teacher of the course noted that if we did not go through suffering in life God could not bring us to a deeper understanding of Him and molding us all the while, transforming our hearts to be more and more like the heart of Jesus. As I was writing this, 2 Corinthians 12:9 came to my mind - My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" and later at the end of verse 10 For when I am weak, then I am strong. I read that and understand that now in a way I had never understood to the extent I do now. I know as I am weak the strength I have comes only from Him. He is there waiting lovingly to provide that strength to me each and every day.
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